The Big 1

The big one year that is. This coming Monday (Dec 6th) marks our first year of marriage. It's pretty hard to believe. It feels as if we've been together forever, but at the same time, it's hard to believe it's been a year. While being married is one of the hardest things I've ever dealt with, I highly recommend it. I'm not sure the term "happily married" can apply to a couple's first year. Sure we are happy to be together, and there's no doubt in my mind that we are supposed to be together. But there's lots of growing pains to get over after making such a significant lifestyle change.

It's strange, but I'm pretty sure I knew more about marriage a year ago then I do now. Back then, I knew that my way of doing things was "normal", my views on major issues were "common sense" and that I was a very unselfish person in general, humble even. I was about to share my life with this wonderful woman who, (although she was intelligent, beautiful, and Godly,) desperately needed my help in becoming "normal" just like me. HA.

I'm starting to realize that the first thing a couple needs to learn after getting married is that they are, for the most part, self centered babies who want their own way more than anything. I can't believe what the bulk of our arguments are about. When the dishes are done, how the groceries are put away, how to separate the laundry. Since when did I ever give a flip about laundry? You never notice how attached you are to your way of life until someone comes along and bucks the status quo. When I see something going on that makes no sense to me, I automatically go into teacher mode and proceed to inform my wife about how this is "normally" done. It's as if I have no idea how she made it this far without me. I'm starting to realize that there's much less resistance if I would just spend more time as a learner. This is the start of OUR life and not just the continuance of MY life. I think Moses left some stuff out of Genesis 2:24. It should read; For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and his crazy ideas about life and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

It took me a year to figure this out. I'm sure that some folks get over it in weeks, and others struggle with it for a lifetime, but I'm positive its a major component to forward progress. Coming out to California and starting a new life with a wife, new job, and new home was a lot like learning to ride a bike without any training wheels, on the freeway, at night. Heavy stress, and quite a few wrecks. But we've been forced to learn it together with hardly anything else to lean on, and I know that we'll be all the better because of it.

Happy one year babydoll